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Alternative Facts

A Satire Blog*

*Warning, do not take anything here seriously.

Border Patrol Upset Over New Extreme Sport

3/15/2018

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Border Patrol agents were upset to find that a local Cross Fit chapter is using the eight wall prototypes at the border as a new challenge.
  
The group is scaling and climbing the prototype walls that were built to show what could keep people from illegally crossing the border in an effort to keep their workouts a challenge.

And they are not the only ones.  Apparently a new extreme sport is brewing with the addition of the wall prototypes. 

As soon as border patrol got the cross fit group off the site, they found a mountaineering group had already set up to start climbing one of the walls.  Within minutes, a group of circus high wire performers had also pulled up, and a lawyer showed up with a bid to buy two of the prototype walls for a local skateboard park, funded by Shaun White, the gold medal winning snowboarder.

When a border patrol agent threw down his hat in disgust and yelled "How tall do we have to build these walls???"  the groups assembled took his question seriously and starting giving advise for the walls to be a better challenge for professional thrill seekers.

The agent was taken to a counselor when he was found hours later huddled in the sage brush curled into a fetal position and rocking himself while muttering nonsensical financial figures.

Border patrol later confirmed that the agent is okay, and that he was actually just reviewing the budget for the wall.
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In response to the new sport challenge, Trey Gowdy (R-SC) and Devin Nunes (R-CA) have launched a joint investigation into whether or not any of the groups climbing the wall for sport are actually spies for Mexican coyote groups.  So far the cost of the investigation is topping 13 million.  

You have just enjoyed a satire article.  Congratulations. ​​
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    by Keth and Belly

     This is where we write satire and none of it's true. 

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