Breaking - Rex Tillerson was fired over massive secret spill

Sources close to the firing of Rex Tillerson have disclosed that the Secretary of State was let go due to a massive secret spill - the second largest in the history of the US.
According to official reports, the secretary was carrying 53.09451 million US secrets, of which about 10.8 million US secrets were spilled into the Prince William Sound.

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During the first few days of the spill, the secrets covered Price William Sound.  Locals tried to get wildlife to just ignore the secrets by blasting a high screeching dog whistle to get them to cover their ears and leave, but immediate effects of knowing so many secrets was too much for 100,000 to as many as 250,00 seabirds, at least 2,800 sea otters, approximately 12 river otters, 300 harbor seals, 247 bald eagles, and 22 orcas.  An unknown number of salmon and herring were also effected. 
The secrets were apparently vital to the running of the US, and many people depend on them for their daily lives to run as normal.  Dependence on secrets has long been debated at the State Department, and efforts to scale them back have been met with resistance.  Many long time State Department employees have been known to even stockpile secrets in case of war.
Estimated of the effects of the spill state that it will be felt for many years, as the secrets will only break down at an estimated rate of less than 4% per year.
Tillerson offered a "heartfelt apology" to the people of the US, suggesting he had been wrongly blamed for the disaster: "The true story is out there for anybody who wants to look at the facts, but that's not the sexy story and that's not the easy story," he said. 

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