"I Survived" Inundated with Spring Break Stories.

Parents everywhere have been sending in their stories to the popular documentary series "I Survived".  
According to the website for the show they normally deal with near death experiences and how people overcome unbelievable circumstances told by the person themselves. 
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And now, mothers, fathers, caregivers, and even the occasional grandparent have decided that a week with their children on Spring Break qualifies.

Lucy Smith from Albany, New York explains.  "It was like a tornado hit my house.  All of a sudden I had three children cooped up in a house, it's too cold outside, it's not Christmas, we weren't going on vacation anywhere - they were going insane.  I started just throwing Fruit Loops at them to distract them, so I could leave the room and sneak outside to cry silently into my Camilla bushes, while dreaming of the days they are all in school."

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Another parent, Rachael Lemon from St. Louis, Missouri stated that actually going on vacation was even worse.  "By the time we drove to the airport, took the shuttle to the airport, stood in line, went through TSA, got on a plane, sat on the plane for 3 hours, got off a plane, took another bus, collected luggage, took a taxi, and finally got to the hotel, I had to do an emergency call with my therapist.  I ended up wearing my headphones with meditation music playing while my children went to Magic Mountain.  Then I ate 5 of those churros things and passed on a bench."

Thomas Hillyard, a producer from the show, stated that he didn't think that the parents understand the premises of the show.
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Hillyard, a single man with no children was immediately doxxed by an angry mob of parents who claim that their stories of survival are just as real as the other stories produced, and according to Lucy Smith "would make a real nice special."

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Teachers everywhere were braced for the impact of hyped up children on Fruit Loops and Easter candy for back to school Monday.

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