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Alternative Facts

A Satire Blog*

*Warning, do not take anything here seriously.

New Study finds Women Obsess Less about their Mistakes

3/14/2018

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A new study found that women are obsessing less about their mistakes. 

"Historically women tend to stay awake at night going over every detail of their day and berating themselves for the tiniest mistakes"  states researcher Davey Days.  "This effects their ability to sleep, causes anxiety, and leads to more tiny mistakes... which starts the cycle over again the next night."

Not so anymore.  Apparently researchers like Days are seeing a different trend in the wake of the election of Donald Trump as The President of the United States of America.

Women now tend to stay awake and stress about Donald Trump's mistakes instead of their own.

"I mean, in a way it's healthy!" Psychologist Linda Blair from New York points out.  "For example, I have a client who used to just stress and stress over the tiniest things.  And now - she is stressing out over BIG things, like will we all die in a nuclear holocaust if North Korea nukes us?  This is a healthy worry, and completely legitimate in today's climate.  I'm proud of her!"

We interviewed one of Ms. Blair's clients.  She states she used to worry and stress about random exchanges she had with her boss.  Now, she focuses on random twitter exchanges by Donald Trump instead.  "I used to worry about not being good enough at my job, or my boss thinking I was an idiot for talking about my cats too much.  But now, whenever I see what the freaking leader of the free world is tweeting, I realize that my boss is lucky to have me, and since we will probably all die soon anyway, I should just enjoy my life while I can."  

Davey Days agrees with the findings, and has noted it was a difference in his own wife that prompted the study.  "She used to worry until two or three o'clock in the morning about silverware placement for Easter dinner with my parents.  Now she just screams 'OMG Someone stick a fork in his Twitter account' and falls into a blissful sleep by 1:00am."

You have just enjoyed a satire article.  Congratulations. ​
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